When you hear the word surrender what does it mean to you? For some, it evokes images of enemy capture and for others it’s simply giving up on something – a dream, a business, a marriage. However, if you look deeper, surrender has a lot to do with accepting what is. This simple act can be monumental and is a pivotal step if we are to forge a new path forward. And if surrender is what is required to become unblocked or fruitful in our efforts to move forward, shouldn’t it be regarded as a strength rather than a defeat? Let’s examine the concept of surrender, what it requires and how it may emerge in different contexts.
Our relationship with surrender seems to be undeniable linked to our level of trust within ourselves and the Universe at large. When I push up against reality, somehow believing that my individual will is stronger than tides of the ocean, it doesn’t take long to see that I can be crushed in a moment. However, if I jump on that wave, despite its twists and turns, and relax into the ride with an openness that trusts whatever comes my way is in my highest and best good, well than I surf the wave. I become one with it and move into a flow state of consciousness. In this state, I allow the super conscious mind to inform my action from a place of higher knowing, rather than what my individual ego mind can see in the moment. This type of surrender requires us to drop expectations, so we can become present to what is, literally harnessing the power of now. This power IS in the acceptance and surrender itself. It requires a level of humility that the little you be in service to the big you. Who’s the big you? I consider the big you the higher self, the atman, the oversoul. It’s the part of you that is untouchably whole and connected to the divine. It’s the one sending those, sometimes small, intuitive whispers that say go that way, or turn back. It’s the part of you not connected to the ego or personality of this incarnation but is the universal life force pulsing through you and which has been with you in EVERY incarnation. It is this part of you whom will lovingly pick you up from a deeply surrendered state, brush you off, and whispers now we can begin. It is from this place where powerful re-births can begin and we release a layer of conditioning that has been lined with all our shoulds, all our expectations, from self and others, that eventually created such a force there was nothing left to do but lay them down. In our reemergence, no longer shackled by outdated stories and protections, we have the powerful opportunity to create from a more expansive and freer place. It is the surrender which allowed new life to emerge, without it we continue to loop in traps of our own making.
The idea of surrender comes up often with my clients in both real and metaphoric ways. While surrender remains one of the most powerful agents of change, it requires a willingness to see, accept, and default to something more powerful than our individual self. Let’s start by looking at physical surrender as it may be the most easily identifiable from the outside. Clearly death, is the ultimate physical surrender but what about when you THINK you are dying? The idea of a shamanic death is a concept that comes up often in psychedelic work and in this state, the person experiencing this form of transformation BELIEVES this experience to be REAL. Or at the very least, they are confronted with a reality in their head which illustrates to them, that the current course of operation is no longer sustainable. In this circumstance, the level of surrender required goes beyond the conscious mind. So, while one may believe themselves to be in a surrendered state, the subconscious, including every cell in your body which is under its control, is fighting for survival. It is programmed to stay alive at all costs. In this state, we are faced with the ultimate trust in the divine. Can we let go of what is known and stand in the abyss of the unknown – whether that be a literal physical transformation or one in which the old version of ourselves must fade away to make room for new life. These experiences teach us powerfully, that the control we ferociously seek, is illusionary at best. That ultimately, despite our best efforts to control our lives down the smallest details, such control is fleeting at best and the sooner we become friends with the unknown, the sooner we invite the divine in to lead us powerfully forward.
At The Starlight House, while our clients don’t face such robust circumstances, we do offer the opportunity to practice such surrender. In our daily lives surrender might be a little more difficult to spot on the outside but is an internal process that periodically knocks at our door asking us to give up a pattern of behavior that longer serves. Maybe its negative self-talk, or your late night trips to the fridge. Perhaps a relationship that’s turned toxic and leaves you soaking in a residue of low vibrations. Whatever it is, it’s usually a place that we know needs transformation and yet we resist out of comfort or convenience. During our light, sound and vibrations sessions, also known as vibe sessions, we are asked to get quiet and receptive with ourselves (the divine feminine aspect), to hear the guidance of our higher self. We must resist our inclination to move, avoid and otherwise distract ourselves from the intention at hand and allow our emotion to emerge. While many persist in their resistance to slow down, examine, and do the required work to really change, this surrender is exactly where the darkness that we feel transforms into light. This light bringing into our consciousness something that was once hidden and controlling our life from the dark confines of our subconscious. But as it emerges into the light, we can see how it has become outdated and the scary monster hiding in the closet, disappears once the light of our awareness acknowledges and accepts it. It speaks to the old adage, “when you know better, you do better.” We rise with a renewed energy that was once used to push down that thought or feeling that we ferociously fought to ignore.
Sometimes, the surrender is even more simple and comes in the form of not doing. While most of us have been heavily conditioned into being human do-ings rather than human be-ings, it requires conscious effort to re-wire the aspect of self that says our worthiness comes out of our accomplishment. That only when we are producing are we worthy of love, devotion, attention or you fill in the blank. When we bear witness to this impulse, it is an invitation to simply notice the strength of the pull and the story we’ve wrapped around it. To consciously sit in the discomfort and see what arises. To surrender to the fact that we are worthy of love just as we are and all the struggle in do-ing is more about proving that worthiness to ourselves. But oh the flow that emerges when we sit for longer and longer in the listening until we know just the RIGHT action to take. When we are led by our own intuitive wisdom that holds the blueprint of our becoming. That the transformation we are seeking emerges when we lay down and surrender to the deepest parts of ourselves and allow the whispers of the higher self to powerfully rebirth us.
While surrender is never easy, and we have probably created a long list of reasons of why it’s a bad idea, it is a requirement of radical change. It is an acknowledgment that the current path forward is no longer viable and certainly not in our highest and best good. This message usually comes in subtle ways that build in strength and ferocity until we no longer have a choice but to sit down and listen. Such severity isn’t a requirement, however. We can turn those whispers of our higher self into regular daily living instructions, where we are led gracefully to the people, places and events that lead us down the path.These breadcrumbs emerge powerfully directing our path with a richness and sense of awe that comes from the miraculous organization of the Universe. We begin to trust more deeply in this invisible force animating all of life and from which these powerful transformations emerge. So, I invite you to bring this powerful teacher, friend and companion into your life on a more regular business. To make a regular practice of making space for this receptive quality to emerge, moving through transformations swiftly and gracefully, so we may evolve our own capacity to hold the light!
